Some days

Another of my moon stories, because like perhaps I've said before, its better to shock than to bore your audience.

Transcription from a piece of paper dated Wednesday 17/18th August 2009.

I'm not completely sure about the date because I can't see. I can't see a calendar or my phone. Everything is blurry but my vision has improved since last night and the hallucinations are almost gone.

Yesterday, out of boredom and feeling lame and in the need of something different, I decided to use a present I received a couple of years ago. Two flowers. They were meant to be used in a tea. My handwriting is massive, I know, but my vision is so cloudy and... that thing was crazy. I got the flowers as a good bye present from friend that recently survived cancer. In Ecuadorian slang they're called Dormideras (sleepy flowers), after some research I found out that they are called 'Floripondio'. I also found out that they're used to develop a drug used to steal and rob people, the drug makes them loose their capabilities, will and memory.

My vision is weird. I want it back. After I made myself the tea and drank it all alone (I thought they weren't going to do anything other than calm me down) The tea started to kick in and it was weird. First my pupils grew and covered my whole iris. I saw the process in front of a mirror and it was fascinatingly scary. I saw many things that weren't there but mainly, I was unable to communicate. Talking to a friend in Skype was the weirdest thing ever. He was blurry and my little image in the corner was, well, red and had no eyes. I was home. My mom was there and we were supposed to eat dinner together. How on Earth? I couldn't hide and let the effect wither off. I wanted to through up but I couldn't walk to the bathroom.

When my step dad arrived I was tripping harder than ever. The random weird acts started. I was talking in Spanish to my British step dad and in English to my Ecuadorian mom. I tried to clean the toilet with my naked hands. I wanted to take pictures of everything. To be honest, I don't have many memories of that period of time. My step dad got so worried, I think they phoned all my friends and my boyfriend, then they phoned the Hospital. They wouldn't believe me that it was only 'a flower tea' that had done 'that' to me.

I was crazy. I still am a bit. Then, I was forced to through up but all I wanted to was to clean my sick or clean my teeth. So they took me to Hospital. I made myself sick another couple of times, loads of times. I didn't want my stomach washed. My mom had to dress me, it was embarrassing. They asked me what had happened, then the date, then the year, the month etc.. I couldn't answer to any of the questions. I was lost. Being in that state at Hospital is one scary experience. I felt better after puking, so I could answer questions like 'what month are we in?' they kept asking me those question, to keep me focused and awake and to know if my brain was fucking working. I'm so scared. My pupils were gigantic, they still are and that's what is making my vision so bad.

A bit of the effect was gone, so they started the tests. They took blood samples, my pressure, measured my heartbeat and whatever. I had like a million things plugged to my chest and fingers. They kept us there till almost 4:30 am. The results finally came and they found out that indeed, I just have had a 'flower tea' I was intoxicated and I'm anemic, they found out. They brought an old lady to the cubicle right in front of mine. She was stubbornly refusing to have a bag of fluid plugged to her arm. She was so obstinate, she said straight to the nurse's face 'I refuse'. They also brought some people from a car crash, all covered in blood. One of them was screaming constantly, rhythmically. I was suffering from dehydration and short term memory loss so I couldn't follow threads of conversation, my doctors were patient, and talked to me slowly and took notes I think. I was so mad at myself. They kept asking the same basic questions over and over. Whats the date today? Month? Year? Who is our Prime Minister? I knew the answers, someone laughed, I said something witty I guess...

My eyes had a life of their own, which looked scary to other people and was annoying for me because I was looking for water. So, they phoned the department of toxicology at the Guy Hospital in London. I was scared and feeling so bad for my parents, I've never seen them so scared. I don't remember where I left my watch, I couldn't see the letters on my Ipod thus I couldn't listen to music since I begun tripping, I couldn't see my phone's screen thus I couldn't phone or text anyone. I asked my step dad to text my boyfriend and tell him I'm OK. I wanted to leave, they wanted to leave... we were waiting for even more results. The doctor finally came in again and said 'we found... nothing more! besides the fact that she's anemic, but you already knew that.' I'm a vegetarian, what did you expect?. My two main doctors were female, the first one was specially pretty and kept saying 'OK, Alright' in a patronizing-I'm getting nothing out of this-but I'm sweet way. A black fat guy started dancing in front of my bed (which in all fairness, was a corridor and his mom was having an operation very near to where we were). They doctor gave me two yellowish pills in one of those tiny plastic glasses, that plus the weird robe (which I affirmed several times that my grandma would have liked) made me feel like a mental patient. Insane.

So we left. I couldn't stop crying, I was like so depressed. I still am. I feel the worst for my step dad and mom. They were so nice. After we got home, they said 'Let's pretend this never happened, just tell us when you get your vision back'. I just didn't think that thing was going to be so potent. I can't remember much but I do know that I wasn't in control at all. I only want to feel good again. Have normal eyes again and feel less insane.