I am.
Mind like a roulette, an Ecuadorian-Russian roulette,
Heart like a hyperactive bird in too small a cage,
My face is my story and my body my soldier,
A lonely human being... and some friends...
Wednesday 4 January 2012
SO I AM....
I am.
Mind like a roulette, an Ecuadorian-Russian roulette,
Heart like a hyperactive bird in too small a cage,
My face is my story and my body my soldier,
A lonely human being... and some friends...
Monday 2 January 2012
A person as a wish...
Things become relatively easy, with time. The hardest, the harshest, the longest, the impossible. Then, it exists. You were a granted wish. Everything in you now was once a dream of mine, a dream of when my mind didn't know how to scheme, how to wish, how to love. You came ready made but you were impossible to know.
Did you ever wanted to know what my dreams were? What I was looking for? Well look no further because it was you. You were my ideas of the past all turned into flesh. The past. The reality was too close to the fantasy. You were hard to handle, you were like a new technology of human being that came without instructions. I was lost. I had to look no further and thus the quest had ended. There I was, twisting and turning with my present from the Universe. Me? Well before you I was a dreamer of course. Imagining and planning. You? Tall and entertaining, so fun. Your smile looked like it didn't belong to this world. Enchanting. I was hypnotized and paralyzed. I don't know how to belong to anyone.
I really had to make you go away. I pushed you and said 'I'll be happy if you are happy, somewhere, anywhere, but not here' you smiled at me liked that, it broke me in half. The story had split in two with me. It was either worshiping dedication, or freedom. Your perfection made me see the rest of the world as ugly. Like the moment when your ipod runs out of battery on the train and you are left hearing the shaking noise of the rails. You took all the colour from the landscape away. What did you do wrong so I let you go? Nothing. You never cared, you blamed it on me. You waited on me. You relaid on me. You waited for the love of two to come from one, me. I was only human and I am no one's wish. You? Made of fairy ghost and all concerned with beauty. Me? covered in bruises and paint. My moves were real and awkward, yours real and graceful. It shouldn't be this way, the boy is not supposed to be more graceful than the girl. It is, it was. I painted you so good in my head, little did I know that you were being created, shaped, somewhere else. I had you, I tasted you, I told you I'm happy. Now, you go, go be happy somewhere else.
x
azile
Did you ever wanted to know what my dreams were? What I was looking for? Well look no further because it was you. You were my ideas of the past all turned into flesh. The past. The reality was too close to the fantasy. You were hard to handle, you were like a new technology of human being that came without instructions. I was lost. I had to look no further and thus the quest had ended. There I was, twisting and turning with my present from the Universe. Me? Well before you I was a dreamer of course. Imagining and planning. You? Tall and entertaining, so fun. Your smile looked like it didn't belong to this world. Enchanting. I was hypnotized and paralyzed. I don't know how to belong to anyone.
I really had to make you go away. I pushed you and said 'I'll be happy if you are happy, somewhere, anywhere, but not here' you smiled at me liked that, it broke me in half. The story had split in two with me. It was either worshiping dedication, or freedom. Your perfection made me see the rest of the world as ugly. Like the moment when your ipod runs out of battery on the train and you are left hearing the shaking noise of the rails. You took all the colour from the landscape away. What did you do wrong so I let you go? Nothing. You never cared, you blamed it on me. You waited on me. You relaid on me. You waited for the love of two to come from one, me. I was only human and I am no one's wish. You? Made of fairy ghost and all concerned with beauty. Me? covered in bruises and paint. My moves were real and awkward, yours real and graceful. It shouldn't be this way, the boy is not supposed to be more graceful than the girl. It is, it was. I painted you so good in my head, little did I know that you were being created, shaped, somewhere else. I had you, I tasted you, I told you I'm happy. Now, you go, go be happy somewhere else.
x
azile
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